I’ve been slacking a bit on the blogging front for a while…

No doubt the new relationship and thriving business are taking their toll.
Not having internet at home also means that I’m only online at work.
So there’s not much room for casual surfing of the net.

There’s been no shortage of blogging material either as it goes.
This weekend I did a 2 day Thai Yoga Massage workshop.
It was pretty full-on from 10am until 5pm for two days.

The workshop was led by Sonja who I met on a Yoga festival earlier this year. She’s been practicing TYM for 10 years. You can read more about her on her website: Lotus Yoga Massage.

I’ve had a few Thai Massages recently as I’ve been doing swaps with two masseurs for some web design and flyer design. I love receiving TYM (who wouldn’t?) and it was really exciting to learn how to give it. It was interesting to note that you’re actually doing yoga yourself while giving the massage. The emphasis was on the breath and working with gravity and your own body to perform the stretches on the receiver.

I probably got a bit carried away with my loud Ujjayi breathing when I got into the practice. I found the experience very meditative and I’m looking forward to practicing on friends and working with different bodies. I get so much out of bodywork which is why I love the mysore practice that we do mainly in silence (bar the odd grunt or groan)

I’m a bit behind the curve this week and there’s been so much going on.

The week started with Manju’s workshop here in Brighton. The workshop included a led primary pratice in the morning, a led 2nd series practice in the afternoon followed by pranayama, chanting and a Q&A session.

In the break there was also a demo by the London AcroYoga crew which was awesome. I did some AcroYoga at a recent yoga festival near Glastonbury, so I was keen to do a bit more “flying” which was pretty cool. AcroYoga is so much fun and is actually easier than it looks. There’s a workshop at BNHC in early September so be sure to check it out!

On Sunday I only did the afternoon sessions so if anyone has any comment on how they found the led primary lets hear it! Judging from the damp patches on the ceiling I’ll bet it was a good one!

The most interesting bit for me was the Q&A session and hearing Manju talk about Yoga and practice in general. He spoke about the need to relax, breathe and enjoy practice. He also said that if you don’t want to practice then don’t, saying that forcing yourself to practice asana is not yoga. My interpretation of this is that forcing yourself to practice can be regarded as himsa (harm) and we’re supposed to be practicing ahimsa (non-violence). Bringing awareness of how we are in the moment will determine what action would be harmful or not. Basically, chill out!

Manju also spoke about it being acceptable to mix asana from different series and have a more varied practice. Again my interpretation on this is that you need a sufficiently developed practice and relationship with your teacher to gain the most benefit.

Manju didn’t learn asana in any set series but started out copying his father when he was about 7 or 8 years old. His father then gave personal tuition to him and his sister. Most of us don’t have the advantage of learning yoga in this way. To me it really points again to the importance of the relationship between student and teacher which in Manju’s case was father and son too.

Manju also emphasised a balanced approach to practice. Asana is only one of the limbs of yoga. He said pranayama, chanting and scriptures should also be practiced these would then naturally lead to the development of the other limbs of yoga: Yama, Niyama, Pratyahara, Dharana, Dhyana leading ultimately to Samadhi.

Another interesting statement was “mantra is more powerful than asana.”

The question: “What should I eat after practice” which was met with the rather sensible “Your body will tell you”.

There was lots more that I can’t recall at the moment but in the interest of getting this blog up I’m going ot post now and add comment later as stuff comes to mind.

I also interviewed Manju this week and part of the interview will be available for download next week some time.

In the meantime here’s a couple of links to interviews that I read before I interviewed Manju:

Guy Donahaye interviewed Manju in NYC, March 2008

And another excellent interview by Richard Clark, Australia 2005 available as a PDF.

Namaste

I went with some friends to the Santosha Yoga festival near Glastonbury over the bank holiday. At one of the classes the teacher asked before we stated to bring to mind someone who we wanted to devote our practice to. This was a lovely way of setting the intention and focus of the practice and one I’d not considered before. So each day when we do the opening mantra I’m going to take a moment to devote my practice to someone. Hoping that they share the benefits of my practice.

It also seems like a nice way to shift my attention away from myself and what I’m trying to achieve.

Namaste

My teachers took time out with me recently to talk about my practice and we got on to mind-body connections. This inspired me to write down some thoughts about fear. I feel truly blessed to have such supportive teachers in my life right at this very moment.  

For the past year now I have been feeling the fear of dropping back into Urdva Dhanurasana from standing. Logically I know there is really no need for this fear. In terms of flexibility and strength I could drop back if I wanted. I know it. My teacher knows it. Yet for some reason I can’t seem to feel the fear and do it anyway.

When it comes to the point in my practice to drop back adrenaline starts to pump around my body, my heart beats faster and I suddenly perceive an imaginary lack of energy. Part of this adrenaline is the excitement of actually dropping back unassisted and part of the adrenaline is the fear of running out of energy just at the point of dropping back and collapsing, despite of course this never having happened! I’m also scared of the feeling of my palms making contact with the floor. Sometimes I retract my arms as I reach towards the floor, instead of embracing the contact of palms to mat. For me this asana is really about looking fear in the face and diving into it.

So where does this fear come from? I’ve been trying to explore it more deeply in the hope that I may be able to move beyond it.

I think my fear of a lack of energy, extends into a fear of lack of consciousness (I’m talking quite literally!), this fear of loosing consciousness could be seen as a fear of not being awake in the physical world (again quite literally, but with a nice metaphorical ring!) Is this fear then a manifestation of a feeling of separation? Separation from our true essence, however you choose to perceive this? This may sound a little over simplified (jumping from back bends to super-consciousness!), but this feeling of separation, in a convoluted way and covered up by many “head-held” excuses, rears itself in this asana time and time again. If I were to breath into this fear I’m sure it would (eventually!) dissolve and transform into a blissful and very connected flow…
By perpetuating my sense of separation and labelling this fear with an “excuse”, in my case “energy-lack”, there is also the fear of potential, of reaching my full potential (at least at this moment in time, in this particular asana). I’m perpetuating something by not feeling and breathing into this fear and going beyond. I am perpetuating a thought pattern, I’m perpetuating an image of myself. What is fearful about the fact that I could actually do a backdrop? Am I perpetuating the thought that I am not good enough? Not good enough to be able to do this? Is my fear then of being good enough, of life being actually really good … of being really blissful, flowing and connected … what would it mean for me if I dived into this fear and experienced its transformation …  

If anyone has any experiences or thoughts to share on fear in their practice I would love to hear you.  Namaste.

The week following Buddhafield has been rather eventful. Buddhafield was like being strapped to a rocket and shot into another galaxy and what a lovely new horizon it was, what delightful strange unique sights, sounds smells and sensations. This week the rocket returns to earth and it’s taken some skill not to be burnt up by re-entry through the atmosphere. Parachutes of compassion engaged! Backup parachutes of kindness and humour engaged.

The main question for me has been this: How do I integrate my insights, meditation, wisdom and experience into my “normal” every day life? There’s also a sense of the “magic” slipping away. There’s a natural tendency to cling to those experiences that are pleasurable whether spiritual or not. So I’m accepting that change.

I’ve been journaling a lot recently and today I’ve been really struck by the a sense of abundance in my life (in stark contrast to how I’ve been feeling of late.) From time to time I write gratitude lists – a list of all in my life that I’m grateful for, in case you’re wondering. It’s an intellectual exercise to remind me that things are OK. But I very seldom have an emotional connection with this gratitude. This week has been different. My life feels full, not overwhelming. I feel balanced and happy. I am enough. I’m staring at the words I just wrote! Did I write that? I am enough.

How does this relate to my practice? When I lack connection with abundance in my life as I so often do, then my landscape is littered with obstacles that I have overcome through effort: tiredness, injuries, competitiveness, impatience, anger etc… I also have this nagging feeling that I need to try harder all the time, do more to be better. This week at practice has been great – my mind has been empty of all that and I’ve just been breathing. There’s been no thought of progressing through any series, no highway to travel along. Just being on the mat and connection between body mind and breath (and sweat ; )

When I look back on my life I’m unlikely to say: “I wish I had tried harder” I’m more likely to say “I wish I’d let go and had a bit more fun”. Perhaps. It’s this playful abundant attitude that I’m loving right now.

Namaste