The week following Buddhafield has been rather eventful. Buddhafield was like being strapped to a rocket and shot into another galaxy and what a lovely new horizon it was, what delightful strange unique sights, sounds smells and sensations. This week the rocket returns to earth and it’s taken some skill not to be burnt up by re-entry through the atmosphere. Parachutes of compassion engaged! Backup parachutes of kindness and humour engaged.
The main question for me has been this: How do I integrate my insights, meditation, wisdom and experience into my “normal” every day life? There’s also a sense of the “magic” slipping away. There’s a natural tendency to cling to those experiences that are pleasurable whether spiritual or not. So I’m accepting that change.
I’ve been journaling a lot recently and today I’ve been really struck by the a sense of abundance in my life (in stark contrast to how I’ve been feeling of late.) From time to time I write gratitude lists – a list of all in my life that I’m grateful for, in case you’re wondering. It’s an intellectual exercise to remind me that things are OK. But I very seldom have an emotional connection with this gratitude. This week has been different. My life feels full, not overwhelming. I feel balanced and happy. I am enough. I’m staring at the words I just wrote! Did I write that? I am enough.
How does this relate to my practice? When I lack connection with abundance in my life as I so often do, then my landscape is littered with obstacles that I have overcome through effort: tiredness, injuries, competitiveness, impatience, anger etc… I also have this nagging feeling that I need to try harder all the time, do more to be better. This week at practice has been great – my mind has been empty of all that and I’ve just been breathing. There’s been no thought of progressing through any series, no highway to travel along. Just being on the mat and connection between body mind and breath (and sweat ; )
When I look back on my life I’m unlikely to say: “I wish I had tried harder” I’m more likely to say “I wish I’d let go and had a bit more fun”. Perhaps. It’s this playful abundant attitude that I’m loving right now.
this excites me. this is the type of blogging that not only should be on here but i feel inspired to respond to.
it is well too easy to get sucked into everyday life and to complain about the monotony and whatever. and believe me, i am an expert at it!
the buddhists say we suffer just by being born…just by limiting our great expansive, sweet, loving spirits; confining them to our bodies, when all we really want to do is be free.
i think it’s just about choice of perception. we can chose to perceive our suffering as sad and depressing and not deal with our issues…or we can face them head on…jump head first into the fire..and learn to laugh…first at ourselves and the ridiculousness of the maya that we conjure up, and then laugh at the joys of life. truly laugh.
and the ashtanga practice is a great place to play around with those feelings…we can perceive the pain and suffering with negativity, or with abundance. not to say there isn’t pain. it is real. (alhtough it’s not…but it sure damn well hurts!) or we can be gentle and kind, have ahimsa for ourselves, not push too hard (some effort would be nice!) and go with grace and laugh at these silly poses we make ourselves do everyday.
feeling abundant is a practice itself…and one that i am going to bring back into my life!
1. i am grateful for knowing a likeminded community
2. i am grateful for love in my life
3. i am grateful for finding a spiritual path that brings me closer to god and my “self”.
Wow, that festival sounds incredible – wish I’d been! I went to a festival that weekend too – in a beautiful location in the woods by a lake but revolving around alcohol and over-priced fast food rather than enlightenment. I’m definitely finding those kinds of festivals less and less interesting so was very inspired by the sound of Buddhafield.
I found another interesting festival on the internet, 15-18 August – also alcohol and drugs free – there’s more info on http://www.spaceoflove.co.uk – lots of raw food, bhajans, and a sweat lodge in the Sussex woods! Might be interesting to go for a day trip – anyone up for it?
Well done happyyogi for leaping out of the blogging shadows!
Hey Louise, I checked out http://www.spaceoflove.co.uk and it does look interesting – and close by too!